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Loving yourself is perpetuated from the limited thinking of those who raised you. Now, before you get upset, I’m not judging anyone who raised you. They were also programmed and conditioned by the people who raised them. And, they did the best with what they knew and had to work with. However, loving yourself is directly correlated to your self image. That’s right! Do you think you’re a fabulous person? Do you think you rock? Do you care what other people think of you? If your answers were, “no,” “no,” and “yes,” please allow me to offer a tip.

It is critical for you to enhance your own self dialogue into something utterly positive. I know…you’ve heard this before, however, let me explain why you need to be positive. You have a sub-conscious mind, where your self image is deeply rooted. The sub-conscious mind can only accept the ideas you hand over to it. Now, usually we are completely lying to ourselves. We say, “I’m fat…I can’t do this…I don’t have enough education…I’m too old…the economy is awful…what will people think?” Again, no judgment, but most people aren’t thinking or they wouldn’t say what they say.

Just give it a try…say to yourself, “I approve of myself.” And, say it often. Maybe give a go at, “I’m a good person…I love myself…I can do anything I set out to do…I ROCK!”

So, once you begin to feel better about YOU, so will your significant other. Trust me, I know from experience, there is no bigger turn off than acting like a “victim.” And, it doesn’t feel good either, does it? If you need further help, please contact me:

Wendy Duncan
Wendy Duncan International
PO Box 952
Redmond, OR 97756
541.526.0164
wendy@wendyduncan.com
www.wendyduncan.com

About Wendy Duncan

Wendy is a Bob Proctor LifeSuccess Consultant, and is the founder of the Wendy Duncan International De-STRESS Training Center which opened to new clients in October of 2008.

Rules For Him:
•Recognize women are very different from you. Ask her what she needs to be happy and listen. Remember they leave the relationship 75 percent of the time. (Wendy Commentary: ouch!)
•Women typically need listening, not solutions (she is already competent). (Wendy Commentary: please nod and make the appropriate supportive sounds.)
•Never ask a woman to get to the point. (Wendy Commentary: we have a point and need some time to work through it. Please be ultra patient!)

Rules For Her:
•He can do only one thing at a time. When you want to talk to him, wait until the game is over and ask for a specific time to talk to him. (Wendy Commentary: all I’m going to say is…TRUE!)
•If you really want him to listen, try to use fewer words. (Wendy Commentary: I’m a speaker. I only have words.)
•On a long trip do the day driving. Let him drive at night. His night vision is usually better. (And while you are sleeping, it won’t bother you as much when he is lost!) (Wendy Commentary: I console myself with…he will figure it out!)

You can eat well, exercise your heart out and get enough sleep, but if you’re stressed out, your body cannot operate as efficiently as it could, eventually leading to an unbalanced, and unhealthy, state of being.

Stress begins with how we assimilate information in our daily life. Perhaps we allow people to make us feel bad. We may blame someone else or something else for our financial condition, for our careers or for our relationships. We put pressure on ourselves as deadlines approach, and in some way or another, we feel our lives must be perfect.

The above stressors can be mitigated by first changing our perception of them. Others cannot make us feel anything unless we’ve given them permission to do so. What we don’t often realize is that we needn’t react to the actions of others. When it comes to the results we are getting in life, we are responsible for them – no one else is.

We’ve been raised to believe that the conditions in our lives in whole or in part result from actions outside of ourselves. It’s someone else’s fault, doing – you fill in the blank. This is a misnomer that, once reversed, can put you in a place of power; one where you realize that perfect is in fact in the mind of the beholder. Perfection is what your perception says it is. It begins and ends with you.

My own personal stressors caused me to have a headache every day of my life for over 30 years. During this time, I worked out, ate well and got sufficient sleep. However I’d left my mental health out of my personal health. Once I made a conscious decision to change the way I looked at life, my life changed. I began to accept other people where they’re at, without judgment.

Everyone is allowed their own point of view. Mine doesn’t have to be theirs, and vice versa. More importantly, I began to accept myself. I removed the “perfect” from my vocabulary, and decided I will be fine so long as I am committed to growth in my life. Growth is a conscious decision; one that begins in your mind.

Looking back at my life, I recognize some of the ‘someone else’ programming I received while growing up. I challenge those programs by asking myself if they are serving me. If they aren’t, I change them.

This process, just like diet, exercise and sleep, requires a conscious commitment. If you’re able to do this, your personal health will skyrocket!

- To your health, Wendy

Do you have the habit of resisting change? Whether it’s in your relationship, your routine or your work.
Or on the flip side, just when things seem to be working well, do you find that YOU may have to change?

How about the business environment? This is one that’s rapidly changing, oftentimes creating an atmosphere of stress, lack of productivity, and well, chaos. Downsizing, restructuring and smart phone laden meetings dislodge productivity and focus and provide high change environments with very little high quality communication.

What business leaders sometimes forget is that they need leadership as well. Most times just a reality check or unique perspective is enough to get people back on focus and on track with their week. With my coaching clients, just working on improving the team’s outlook and the way they approach the day, both in and out of the office, improves team confidence. Also working on getting everybody on the same page helps deal with the day-to-day challenges, while creating strong and more cohesive teams.

Coaching can help people deal with challenges and move forward.

Since putting off what we dislike doing causes stress, by holding my clients accountable to their own commands, they’re able to relieve stress, clear their mind and meet their goals, in every area of their life.

By making the personal changes necessary to be as effective as possible, we in turn become better leaders and are able to create more balanced and productive environments. Change can be viewed as either an opportunity or a threat. Unfortunately, most of us will make significant changes when faced with crisis, rather than using change as a vehicle for improvement and innovation along the way.

It’s important that leaders recognize indicators of stress, such as symptoms of burnout, and implement a plan for positive change. Change can come from modifying the situation or changing the reaction. The ability to change the way we look at and react to situations gives us more control over situations in the long run.
After coaching executives, groups and teams, I’ve found the following three keys to be essential for any major business or personal change plan:

1. Establish the need, the champions and the change agents.

Lining out what needs to be done, the persons responsible for implementing the plan and monitoring effectiveness and those that carry out the actions are essential right out of the gate.

2. Get everyone on the bus and the leaders in the driver’s seat.

Change has to be all encompassing. If the entire organization is on board but fails to account for leadership, the plan will never work. Conversely, if leaders are on board but the team isn’t, the bus will never leave the barn. Make sure the plan accounts for everyone, that there are clearly defined goals, a plan for benchmarking and a timeline for each phase along the way.

3. Develop a plan with ‘stick’.

Change plans that stick have clearly defined missions that the entire team agrees to with a clear vision for success at the end, and along the way.

Personally, I’m glad there is change, in all facets of life, and at all times. Your ability to go with the ebb and flow of life, also known as the natural law of rhythm, will ensure your success in life.

For a free team assessment, contact Wendy.

Wendy Duncan is a professional coach and stress expert who developed the Balance-in-a-Box six week stress program designed to treat the source of prolonged stress and its associated physical and emotional well-being. www.wendyduncan.com